How to Heal Your Relationship with Your Parents: Three Steps

So a very important element in the process of healing our relationship with our parents is to name how love flowed in my family. Who really gave to whom? Who really cared about the stability of the relationship? Were it my parents who cared about the stability of the relationship with me? Was it me as a child who cared about the continuity of the relationship with my parents, with my mom, with my dad, who built bridges of understanding in my home? Was it primarily me as a child who built and built bridges of understanding with my parents?

However, did my parents as adults, mature, build bridges of understanding with me? And these are also big, often painful discoveries for us. The next step in building a healed functional relationship with our parents would be to look at and name what roles, what functions I have taken on and have taken in connection with this and not another childhood. But also what shortcomings and what resources I have taken from my family home. In every home, I want to emphasize this sentence, in every home, even the most difficult one in the Sims, we come out with some shortages, yes, but we also always come out with some resources.

Identity, right? So I'm mindful and attentive all the time to my mechanism, which sometimes quite naturally want to turn me into dysfunction and they want to turn me into non-functionality for me. For example, they want to turn me into the role of a rescuer or lifeguard, confident. Or maybe, or they want to turn me into the role one who takes responsibility for how mom or dad feels. Or maybe I want to twist my natural mechanism from the family home into the one who makes sure that things are good between my parents.

Behaviour similar to those of the dad or mom from whom we had to cut ourselves off, but also when we cut ourselves off from our parents. We often do it from the level of punishment for the guardian, that is we want to punish our mother or punish our dad and that is why we cut ourselves off. We think in our hearts, you will see how you will be without me. So we want to punish the parent, thinking that maybe if they get this punishment, maybe they will change, which also often doesn't work. And finally, when we cut ourselves off, this cutting off is often surrounded by such a childish hope that when we cut ourselves off, we will never be treated like this again.

I now if someone treats us in a difficult way... Najczęściej wskazujemy na to, żeby załatwić po raz pierwszy. Żeby załatwić siebie. Być może, żeby załatwić się po raz pierwszy. Mówię, że skończąc siebie z nadzieją, że jeśli skończę się z tym człowiekiem, który mnie tak traktuje, to nigdy nie będę tak się traktował. This is a childish hope, because you may face similar treatment in a different situation, especially if you haven't healed the dynamics that were in that relationship, from which you cut yourself off.

So it's a propos of cutting yourself off from your parents. Another non-functional mode in which we live as adult children of our parents would be the mode of entanglement. And this is also a very common scenario. Were we in our relationship with our parents, we adults, I say in our relationship with our parents, we recreate the childlike dynamics from the family home with our parent. So, for example, we have been functioning as a lifeguard with our parents since childhood and now as adults we are still entangled in the role of a rescuer in relation to the parent.

So functions and roles in the family home are always created to relieve the parent and always so that we are more welcomed by one of the caregivers. I więc ten chęć, aby ułatwić jednego z rodziców, ten chęć, aby być bardziej zaakceptowanym, często wnosi nas w życie młodzieżowe. I to jest to, co nazywamy w życiu młodzieżowym, to my, którzy funkcjonujemy jako młodzieżowe dzieci od naszych rodziców, wciąż w tych samych funkcjach i w tych samych rolach, które zaczęliśmy 10-15 lat temu. SORRY NOT SORRY with Kepisia.

And yes? And it is so deep, deep. It is such an ugly truth, isn't it? Because it is not conscious. I would like to make it very, very clear. This is not a conscious movement. It is all a subconscious movement. A movement from the level of the child's inner hunger. But another kind of resting from our parents, what we didn't get in childhood would also be to use our children. Many people. Many people have an inner option. You didn't give it to me, so at least give it to your granddaughter. You didn't give it to me, so at least give it to your grandson.

Kepisia. Kepisia. Kepisia. She really couldn't cope in any other way. That is where we rationalize our difficult past. Where we deny our difficult past commenting on with shells under the title I had.

I had a good home. I had a happy childhood. It's just a kind of myth. A kind of myth that we live by. This non-functionality also stands out everywhere. This is again a non-functional mode. Why? Because the functional mode in the relationship with our parents is a mode in which it is healthy and daniel. Irrationalization as well as entanglement or cutting off is not the healthiest. And now why did I describe these modes? These three modes like cut-off, entanglement, rationalization and denial. Because each of these modes allows us not to touch our own pain as long as we live in one of these three modes in our relationship with our parents.

As long as we have a chance not to touch our own pain. But there is no other way to freedom in the relationship with our parents than through the pain of the past. To be really that if you want to go through the pain, you have to go into this pain. We can also compare it to the metaphor of the forest. You have to go through this dark forest, this dark forest that you are also afraid of, because only on the other side of this forest, only after passing through this forest, there will be light on the other side. And you can't jump over your pain, you can't dig a hole under your pain.

Nasz ciało, w tym sensie, jest świetnym biometrem naszego poziomu zdrowia. Tego typu wewnętrznego zdrowia. Nasz ciało jest świetnym ambasadorem procesu lekarstwa, ponieważ nasze ciało nie może zostać zdradzone. If there is something that needs to be taken care of and for some reason we are not taking care of it, our body will be the one thing, the one that will not allow us to overlook what needs to be taken care of today. If for example we couldn't express our needs at home as children, there was simply no room for it, today in our adult life

There is a great opportunity, a huge probability that we still don't know how to express our needs if we have not yet delved If we couldn't express our emotions in our family home because there was no room for our emotions there is a very high probability that we still don't know today as adults how to express our emotions or even how to name them. We often don't know, don't have words for them. If for example at home, our family home, there was no room to develop our own identity, to develop our own boundaries, to develop our own desires, desires there is a very high probability that we are still unable to set boundaries.

It's often the case when I'm talking to people that someone tells me that I ask my mother what her childhood was like. I ask my dad what his childhood was like. I say to my mom, Mom, I know your dad was drinking. How did you experience it? What did it look like when grandpa, for example, came home drunk? Or I know you have been beaten. Dad, I know you were beaten. Tell me what happened in your family home. And just they say that nothing happened usually. Kepisia. Kepisia. Kepisia.

Our parents denied the past because of fear. Fear of confrontation that if I confronted myself, if I named what was happening in my family home, I would betray my family. If I name what happened in my family home, I will be flooded with all the emotions that if I name what happened in my family home, I will not get up from the pain. Kepisia. Kepisia. Kepisia.