Stop projecting your unfulfilled dreams on your kids! Esther Wojcicki

So that they could also do the same things, so their kids would also be successful. I the number one thing I realized, and it's so important for everybody, is that kids need to believe in themselves. And so do adults. And in other words, you need to forgive yourself when you make a mistake. And we all make mistakes. Every single day. And we just need to move on and forgive ourselves. We need to move on. You try to revise to make it better. If it doesn't work, you just have to forgive yourself. Because we all make mistakes. That's life. But the school system likes to think that you can be perfect. And that's what causes a lot of problems.

And then if it doesn't work, let them revise. So that's my philosophy. No one does it right the first time. And so everybody needs to have an opportunity to revise without feeling bad about it. That's important. Don't feel bad, because we all make mistakes. Lots of them. And I can give you examples. So, for example, the bike. Who learned to ride the bike on the first try? Or who learned to swim across a pool on the first attempt? There's thousands of examples. Who learned to read the first day they were in school? It just takes time. You have to learn and revise and revise.

Every mistake is a learning opportunity. That's the way I look at it. No matter what it is, it's a learning opportunity. What was your biggest learning opportunity? Do you remember that? My biggest learning opportunity? I think it happened when I was ten years old. Okay. I zauważyłam, że adulty, bez względu na to, jaki jest ich tytuł, bez względu na swoje doświadczenia, They can be wrong. And you need to have the courage to ask questions no matter what. Even if you're a little kid, a child, even if you are somebody who is not as prestigious as the person you're talking to, you have the right to ask questions, no matter what, without being ashamed.

And I'll tell you, it doesn't work. So you can stop trying now. How do you support adult children? Słuchajcie. Najważniejszą rzeczą jest słuchanie. Bądźcie słuchaczami. Jeśli proszą o sugestie, to dajcie im. Jeśli nie proszą o sugestie, to nie dajcie im. Zatrzymajcie się. To pewnie najlepsze, co możecie zrobić. Bo chcą, żeby ktoś mógł słuchać. Może oferować kilka sugestii, które nie są duże. But they don't want you to really tell them what to do. Just like you don't want anyone telling you what to do either. I mean, they're human beings.

How can a parent tell if they are supporting the child's ambition or just fulfilling their own? Well, if you're critical all the time and you think your criticism is helpful, Which is what parents think. Then you might want to re-evaluate. And remember that criticism, you know, sometimes it helps, but most of the time it's hard. If you can criticize and then make some suggestions that might work, or give the child an opportunity to make the suggestions and revise themselves, that will make a big difference.

Czy kiedyś słyszałeś o Google Video? Nie. No, to dlatego, że to było straszne. I ona już spędziła milion dolarów na to. Milion. Więc musiała kupić YouTube, żeby to zrobić lepiej, tak? Tak, ona była tą, która powiedziała rządowi, że to, co zrobiłam, nie będzie działało. Nigdy. And we now need to spend another billion dollars and buy a company that has no track record. But it's going to work. And that's how they bought YouTube. But can you imagine? She had to admit that in order to move forward. And your youngest daughter is also, she co-founded 23andMe and they're having problems too right now, yes?

The youngest daughter had the same problems or similar. 23andMe. Niestety została zniszczona przez Dark Web. Przy okazji, bardzo wspieram tych ludzi z bezpieczeństwa. Potrzebujemy ich dużo. Z powodu zniszczenia zniszczyła się bankrupcja. Musiała walczyć, aby odwrócić swoją firmę. To była ogromna walka. Ale po, nie wiem, 6 miesiącach walczących, odwróciła się. Now it's rebranded as 23andMe Research Institute and she also has a for-profit part of it and she's working very hard to see what she can do with people's DNA to solve a lot of the health problems that people face around the world.

And like I said, once there is a test and you can identify it, then there are already some opportunities to cure it. Early enough. Early enough, yes. So we just need to be able to discover it. And apparently the number one symptom is not coughing. You would think in lung cancer you'd be coughing. No, it's not. Not coughing. Susan never coughed. At all. Ever. Krótka przerwa. Już za chwilę obejrzycie kilka spotów naszych partnerów, dzięki którym możemy tworzyć te treści i dystrybuować je do Was za darmo. Wielu moich gości mówi o świadomym projektowaniu biznesu, o budowaniu procesów, które nie tylko działają dziś, ale pomagają rosnąć w długim terminie.

To była trochę... To była intensywna wieczność, tak bym to powiedział, ale to było niesamowicie fajne. Myślę, że więcej dzieci powinno otrzymywać okazję, aby planować działania dla ich rodziny. I jeśli robią jakieś błyski, to można im pomóc. Mogą ich porozmawiać, można im pomóc porozmawiać. Ale można zacząć z jednego dnia na weekend, albo nawet jednego wiecznia, jeśli jesteś przesadzony. You know, you can expand to a whole weekend. Is it also important that children participate in a day-to-day life of a household? That the chores, etc., that they do it? For sure. So there's a responsibility there as well.

So if you keep doing everything for your child, they're going to expect you to do that for them. Forever. You said about conversations with your daughters when they were adults is about listening. Yes. My biggest challenge is always to How to shut up when you know that this is the wrong way and I've been there, I've experienced that and if you turn right, there's gonna be cul de sac. It's like keep going straight. I do shut up. You shut up. It's such a, there's a huge cost. But you know what you can do also is you can ask questions. Have you thought about this? Have you thought about that?

And it's still there today. Trust, respect, independence, collaboration and kindness. Google is one of the kindest companies to work for. 24x7. If you're tired, they even have nap stations where you can take a nap. If you're sick, they have doctor on site. If your teeth hurt, they've got a dentist. They try to take care of their employees really well. And I think this culture of caring, respecting, trusting, To po prostu podróżowało przez górę. Bez mojego wiedzy, tak naprawdę.

What she's doing is a little stressful for me. She's a competitive olympic skier. That's pretty scary to watch. It's a fast sport. And she just went skiing in Chile and she skied on an active volcano. She sent pictures of the smoke coming out of this volcano. This did not do well with my stress levels. I was like, can we ski somewhere else, not on active volcanoes? There was pass your boundaries, yeah. So my three daughters, Susan, Janet and Anne, were all very good at swimming.

Więc, wiesz, oddałam jej to. Co do tego, że oddałam jej to. To jej życie. Musiała zrobić to, co zdecydowała. And she still skates. You can tell the minute she gets on the ice that she's a competitive skater. So your children are also probably talented in areas that you don't even realize. And they don't realize yet. And they don't realize yet either. So that gives them an opportunity to sample. Maybe some kids don't like sports at all. Maybe they want to do arts or music. Whatever they want to do is ok. You just have to give them that opportunity.

I to staje się bardzo gorącym tematem. Around Thanksgiving and Christmas, you can read about it in the newspapers everywhere, about how they're going to Hawaii for Christmas and not having Christmas with the family, or there's a lot of tension. To, co próbuję zrobić, to pomóc rodzicom zrozumieć, że najważniejsze, co mogą zrobić, to nie mówić o niczym, być spokojnymi, nie krytykować, nie mówić swoim dzieciom o tym, co nie robią dobrze. Bądź akceptującym.

Zacznijmy od tego, że myślę, że musisz o tym porozmawiać i wyjaśnić i powiedzieć, że może nie zrobiłeś tego w ten sam sposób. Że zrobiłeś to, gdybyś wiedział lepiej. Myślę, że wiele rodziców nie chcą powiedzieć, że są przepraszani. Or apologize, but you can say sort of the same thing by saying that, you know, if you would do it again, you probably would do it differently. You can sort of apologize without actually apologizing. And explain that situations in the environment at that time were different and so that's one of the reasons you might have done it.

It'd be great if you can apologize. Sometimes it's hard for people to do that. But I think that would make a big difference in your relationship if you could acknowledge the mistakes you made and say they were done with the best of intentions, but perhaps misaligned. They shouldn't have been done that way. What's the toughest relationship you had to mend? My father was born in the Ukraine and his version of child rearing was hitting children, beating you if you didn't do what he wanted you to do.

Wtedy byłem modelką i mogłam utrzymywać to, co modelowałam. If we don't succeed as parents on the first try, can we somehow go back and try to help our children better? It's hard, because the children carry resentment. Of course. And they don't want to have anything to do with the parents.

It was really, you know, and I was a teacher. My entire salary went to pay to Harvard. Yes. And I was like, well, History Unlit, okay, you can be a professor. I couldn't think of anything else you could do with History Unlit. Ale kto by kiedyś zdążył, że ona będzie stała się głęboką osobą w świecie technicznym? Nigdy bym nie zdążyła. Chociaż zawsze była bardzo dobra w nauce. Chciałbym porozmawiać trochę o Twoim kursie w mediach. Zacząłeś w 1984 roku z kursu, którego nie podobałeś. Zadzieszałeś to w środku kursu klasycznego, tak?

Możesz napisać o tym, co się dzieje w twoim miejscu, w twoim mieście. Możesz nagrywać podcasty. Tak, w każdym mieście na świecie. Ludzie nie wiedzą czy to prawda czy nie. And you can make it up. And then people quote again. One thing that I do know is that if there's a scandalous piece of information that is posted on the web and that it's not true, it somehow travels faster than a legitimate piece of information because it's got some scandal connected with it. I to, co ludzie muszą zrobić, to zrozumieć, że w mediach społecznych jest wiele faktycznych wiadomości. I wiele faktycznych zdjęć. Jest wiele faktycznego wszystkiego, co się dzieje.

Również ostatnio zakończył bannowanie jakiejś legitymacji, jak CNN, i zapomniałam, są jeszcze dwa inne grupy, które zakończył bannowanie. Od wejścia do Wielkiej Brytanii, by otrzymać informacje, i myśli, że będzie w stanie kontrolować informacje, zakończąc te informacje. Ale myślę, że nie będzie w stanie tego zrobić. You know, because they'll probably share news coming from other news sources. I don't know. I don't think there is a way of banning information in the 21st century anymore. I don't think so either, but he's trying. Trump is trying to make life difficult for people in the media world.

Tysiące. Tysiące uczniów. What do you see in the new generations that inspires you and gives you hope? Well, I think the new generation, first of all, was somewhat addicted to social media. Was? Yes, was. Because I think they now are aware that they are addicted. So before they were not aware. Now I think they know. And if they know they can do something about it. If they know they can do something about it. So that is, I think, one of the hopeful signs that I see.

And the students in my program, Palo Alto High School Media Arts Program, they're pretty smart and they understand the dangers. I'm not sure this is true all over the country, but I'm working on it in New York City. I'm part of a group That is trying to encourage all schools in New York cities to have journalism programs, so all students can learn journalistic skills, which basically is critical thinking. So that's an important thing. I also have a non-profit at the University of Oregon called Journalistic Learning Initiative, where we're trying to do the same thing.